24 September 2010
Successful Intentions Newsletter
Hi ,
Do you know which way you're pointing?
Making a change in your life means you have to know which way you're headed first. Then you decide where you you want to be. And then you just do it. Right? "If it is to be, it's up to me!" "If you believe you can, you're right!" "Think and grow rich!"
The pervasive model of change in western (US) culture is a straight line from here to there. Failing to change somehow implies a weakness of character. But human change doesn't happen like that. Research shows it's more like a cycle than a straight line. And failure is at the heart of how we change!
Here's how it works. There are six distinct stages of change, and we cycle through these stages again and again until we're able to sustain the change we want to make. Think of a change you want to make right now - start exercising, eat better, look for a new job, find a partner, win new business?
The first step is the Pre-conscious stage - from not knowing to knowing that you want to make a change. Ask yourself these questions:
- What do I think about this change?
- What might be the consequences if this change doesn't happen?
The next step is the Intention stage where you formulate an idea of what this change could mean for you. Ask yourself these questions:
- What's my best intention for this change?
- What are some good reasons for making the change?
- What are some reasons for not making the change?
Then comes the Determination stage. Here you begin to evaluate the options for achieving the change you want to make and to plan your decision. Ask yourself:
- What options do I have to make this change?
- How will I overcome obstacles to making this change?
The Action stage is where you purposely make a move, take action, execute the plan. So ask yourself:
- What action steps will I take?
- When will I do these steps?
Of course the object of the exercise is to achieve the Desired change. And it's important to get clear on what that looks like. Ask yourself:
- How will Iknow I've been successful?
- What will I do to sustain the change?
But the reality is we are usually unable to sustain that desired change. So we enter the Relapse stage. This seems like failure at first. But it leads us back to the Intention stage and an opportunity to re-think the desired change. And so we cycle through Determination and Action again in a renewed effort to reach the Desired goal. In fact, we might cycle through Relapse several times before we can "make it stick". In preparation for this, ask yourself:
- If I fail to make the change this time, how will that change my intentions?
- What might I need to consider next time?
, if you've thought about these questions then you're more likely to make realistic plans about the change you want to make. Keep on cycling!
You can download the Cycle of Change diagram here.
And explore my "Wisdom Circle" blog for musings, research, and applications of practical wisdom!
Keep your intentions clear,
Peter Webb
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